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Friday, November 16, 2007

The cat remains an enigma

It has been a while since i let my mind wander. Far off into the ocean of emptiness I roam in my own world. I refuse to acknowledge any feelings i have but when it comes, its like a huge wave bantering me. Yes my mind is battered and bruised. I seemed to emerge unscathed and unaffected by any events around me. Little did you know that i am burning alive and a walking zombie. A contradiction to what you can see in reality. A picture perfect health and addictive smile and laughter. I am as  expressive as an anime but i fail to project any of my dark feelings. I am holding on to the thoughts that I cant be frowning when the sun is shining bright. I am holding on to my crazy smile and laughter. An excellent mask that seemed to merge well with  the wearer. It cant be taken off anymore and that is what you get for wearing it so long. Who i was before was long gone but who i am now could be something stronger and destructive in silence at the same time due to refusal to admit defeat. Everything is simply shut in a pandora's box.  The stage is mine and when im standing in the middle, i have trouble deciding which side should i stand sometimes. The cat remains an enigma.