Sometimes you can feel that everything is wrong. Nothing can satisfy your mind when you try to think of what went wrong exactly. This is exactly how i feel most of the time lately. Trapped between my expectations and what people might expect and perceive of me.
As much as i love slipping into my own world, i realize that sometimes i can be careless with people. It is certainly not my intention to befriend people and leave them bewildered. Something must have gone wrong somewhere hence i am taking a step back. Remember that i have a wall - not everyone can step inside the circle around me without me twitching or wincing. That is why confusion is a big thing for me. I dont like to be confused. I would rather know the truth, even if the truth hurts, rather than beat around the bush. It makes things a little less complicated.
Well, missing in action is nothing new to the friends who really know me. They know that sya will be back when you least expect it. As i've written last in my blog, i told ya that i would return to being a homebody and to watch me. So haha, here i am always at home and taking a chill pill from the ever so happening heritage row life for a bit. Not just heritage row actually, from everything and everyone. I need some space to breathe and sort myself out. You know what they say, when aries women is not in a relationship, she will be busy sorting out her life.
i found that i know exactly what i want careerwise but im still in the blur on the matter of the heart. It has always been like that actually. I used to wonder why is it that i cannot fall in love until in 2001 were i fell in love for the first time. The answer that i get is that: only when the right person comes along and when the chemistry is right, maybe i can fall in love and give love in return. Until then, my world is just fine as it is. I am content just to cocoon myself in serenity for now.
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