The Notebook

I think i have just gone through the most colourful phase of my life. A hectic six months full of trials and tribulations. I have learnt a lot although i was forced to grow up in a snap. I was forced to face life when all i did before was just run and avoiding to choose anything. Its just amazing how life and fate can take a twist. Surprises that i have encountered, i never thought that I would come this far. Apart from the sadness that envelope my heart, i have taken the step to forgive my dad and to take every responsibility that i was supposed to take.

Heartbroken as i would be all hopes are lost and broken. A love so deep is kept deep within and sworn to never surface again. I managed to stand on my own two feet without the help of anyone but only with praying to God. In the midst of all that, I met a person who in my eyes is a good judge of character although sometimes he made some faulty readings as well. When he smiles, i like to see that creases near his eyes and that funny expression he has when he laughs out loud. Surprising enough with my heart as cold as stone he managed to warm it a bit. Unfortunately, complications came in and I was left more confused than ever. The duality of everything came into play but i kept my prayer and my wishes the same.

One phone call came the other night and suddenly the world took a turn to where it was before. Before i knew it things were back to where i have left it. I question myself whether to pick up the pieces again and after hearing what my love has to say on the subject of truth putting aside his ego, I know that God has answered my prayer. It was him who still visits me, calling me in my dreams though i am prepared to deny it and throw it all away because i was deeply hurt.

I don't know where my life will be heading right at this moment but although i have moved on half way, i believe in giving everything a second chance. I don't think i will gain anything if i hold on to my ego and push everything away. The person I have met was wonderful and still is my friend. I thank him for sharing his view of the world which makes me think outside my world. I am the colour of white flying in the sky soaring high. Another important thing is that I found friends who has their own individual character of which i love to see and hang out with. If i had pushed everthing away, I wouldn't have known these wonderful people.

Living in oblivion, sometimes you don't get to see the bigger picture. Everything in life has its beauty. Though I know sometimes you can get twisted and confused, i believe that there is always a silver lining behind every dark clouds. As everything happens for a reason, I believe in serendipity too. At this stage of life, i put down half of the mask i wear.